performed an a cappella and no one stayed

i smiled in the shower because i thought he might finally get it that the body i once flinched from could be holy when it’s mine again i turned the camera just right, gave him the angles, the curve, the joke, like i wasn’t breaking underneath the faucet but the water ran cold, and so did he and when the mirror asked if i still wanted to live, i didn’t have the breath to answer i called myself a waterfall i meant: watch how far i fall, and how much of me i lose on the way down i told him about the war in my head and he tried to win it and when it got too much, when the world collapsed in my gut, i still said i’m sorry like bleeding on him was worse than the wound itself